Giving up

2021.09.25 20:35 bobdrakken Giving up

Married for about 11 years now. Up until 6 years ago we almost always split the bills evenly. Gradually, I've been taking on all of our bills until now my wife only pays the gas money for our cars and the groceries. I literally have both car payments, mortgage, credit card bills etc. Our earnings is literally 80/20 and yet she works two part time jobs.
I've tried very nicely to ask her if it would be possible to just switch to a single full time job. Perhaps something that makes at least the combined amount of what she has now so that she can assist me with the chores when we get home. Due to her schedule she is literally only home on Mondays and Wednesdays and when she is, she is sleeping or just laying in bed watching tv. I'll admit I have become the same way now and we're both basically doing the bare minimum to keep the house in order.
I feel that on top of all this, we have many other issues as well. While I don't think it is necessary to share the same interests, I feel spouses should respect each others hobbies. My wife always finds something to complain about me whether it be my taste in music (I literally will listen to everything), to telling me she doesn't care what house we purchase and then giving me hell about it later.
Other than going to work everyday she is not independent at all. She will not take her car to ever get serviced for an oil change, etc. If there's something that requires me to talk to someone, I literally have to take the day off and handle it.
I'd rather not hit this community with a huge wall of text but I could write a book on the things I feel is going wrong at this point. It's very confusing to me and honestly I'm scared to tell her it's over but at the same time I feel trapped. I just want to be free.
We have two kids together. One is 19 and the other is 13. I've held on for as long as I can for their sake. But I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like I'm in hell.
Another note: I literally got off work at 5:30 yesterday evening and was accused of going out drinking with my coworkers instead of coming straight home. When I tried to explain I was called a liar. This was literally the breaking point for me. I can see no positives in this relationship any longer
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